To those who walk beside us...

It's been over a month since I posted anything...yet, I don't know why! There's much to say...and yet much I can't put into words. It's been crazy and chaotic...Daddy's been working A LOT...and the kids and I have been surviving...but only in part to our dear friends who have stood by our side since this journey began.

Adoption is a call many of us hear...but a call that may not lead us all in the same direction. It's wonderful to think we should all add a precious little one (or big one) to our family...but here lately, I'm convinced that JUST AS IMPORTANT are those who hear the call to STAND BESIDE those who are adding the little one(s) to their family. Here are a few examples:

The friend who calls just to check in and see how things are going...and keeps you in the loop of the world that doesn't seem so familiar right now...

The friend who decides to come hang with you and the kiddos for a couple of days and has the wine poured when you come back down after kissing five little faces good night...

The friend who is still willing to bring dinner by or come and cook dinner for you and the kids six months AFTER the airport...

The friend who cleans out her kids closets and sends you three boxes of beautiful hand-me-downs....

The friend who offers to come sit at your house after the kids go to bed so you and your husband can go grab dessert (or a drink)...

The friend who took beautiful pictures of your kids that would just make a perfect Christmas card...is it Christmas already??

The friend who offers to move girls coffee night to your house because your husband is working too late for you to make it to the coffee shop...

The friend who shows up with a motor scooter to entertain your boys on a Sunday afternoon...

These are just a few of the examples of the things going on around these parts. We are blessed...we are lucky...we are so very thankful. If you think you are hearing the call to adopt...but perhaps right now doesn't feel like the time...or there are other factors that make it seemingly impossible right now...find a family who has walked the road...and walk beside them. YOU may be their lifeline...

The Girlfriend's Guide to More than Doubling your Children...

So, as you can imagine, we get asked A LOT "How's it going?" Well, for the first few months- the answer you were likely to get from us was...."Good! But five kids is a lot"....and I'm sure if you asked and received that answer you probably wanted to say..."No duh." And no duh is a perfectly reasonable answer....I mean we KNEW five kids was going to be a lot...it just wasn't ENOUGH of a reason for us to NOT say YES. So, we dove in and figured we'd figure out the whole five kid thing as we went. And really- that is pretty much the only way you can do it because...it's kind of hard to imagine.

So four months or so in...I'm going to give you some things that have worked for us. Who knows- maybe someone out there is looking for a heads up on sibling set adoption. But....really...these are the reasons I'm still smiling. I may have lost my diva status and wear less makeup than ever...but I'm a pretty spoiled momma to some pretty great kids.

1. We have rules...and high expectations of behavior....and don't dare budge a single inch. And by rules I mean...WE tell them when they eat, sleep...breathe play ( and maybe even what they play). Five kids is kind of like a permanent play date...but girlfriend- they will claim all day "I play by myself" and then in the next breath take you down as a troop if you don't stand firm. We are NOT afraid to revoke rights to any enjoyable form of entertainment (Wii, TV, soccer, etc.) and we have done so....and I've literally "turned this car right around".

2. I know what I am cooking tonight as well as every night until the 30th of the month. There is no winging it at 5pm because you don't need SOME ground beef you need THREE POUNDS of it. And no matter what it is...they eat it (and not always because they love it). There are rarely leftovers in this house...but when there are NOTHING goes to waste.

3. Monday is library day, Tuesday co-op and soccer, Wednesdsay preschool and Awanas....for me and my clan it's a schedule...maybe some of you veteran moms are better at mixing it up...I need to know the plan for the day (and approximately what time of day the incessant questions will cease). It really puts the whole infamous "What can we do today?" to rest.

4. I grocery shop as infrequently as possible...and with the least number of children possible. I pull in the driveway and have four strong boys ready to unload it for me. Re-visit #2 for the how. As far as my grocery bill...its a work in progress- that's been a little bit of trial and error so I'll report on that in the near future.

5. I take time to myself...and when that is not possible I visit my stash of adult beverages.

6. I give my kids individual attention once a month. It's not easy....but at one point they were not all siblings...and they still crave that individuality at times.

7. I do NOT allow my children in the pantry...there is no free reign of snacks (they are served twice daily). This is actually a non-issue because my children are not allowed access to my kitchen except when called for meals...I'm not mean, I just need space to cook for my army and heck- the house is plenty big I am certainly not depriving them of valuable square footage.

8. I confess I sometimes ban talking in the car so I can listen to my Jesus music when I'm thisclose to my breaking point.

9. I don't do laundry everyday..."sorry, that Batman shirt you wore YESTERDAY is STILL dirty"...washing machine lessons are by appointment only (as in available 24 hrs a day) if you are volunteering your services. And when I do do laundry....guess who puts it away? Not this mom =) In my opinion, I'm grooming some awesome husbands.

10. I do not pick up toys. IF I am forced to clean up toys...I do so with a white trash bag in hand. We have a clean-up captain who is responsible for ensuring all is in order and then summons me for an inspection...if the playroom and adjacent rooms are in order (no strewn toys) that person is awarded with a starburst and chooses the captain for the next day.

11. I have five extremely capable children who help deep clean the house twice a month...yes, they vacuum, dust, clean base boards etc...and we have fun doing it. In between I clean up between meals and try to run the dishwasher daily. No food leaves the kitchen which means vacuuming can be done weekly.

12. There is no other option but to go to bed....if you make me miserable during the nighttime hours, I reserve the right to make your daytime hours non-enjoyable as well.

13. There is an order to the bedtime routine. Line up for vitamin, brush teeth, report to little boys room for story, use the bathroom in an orderly fashion and I'll meet you in your bed for a good night kiss. Lights out- see you AFTER dawn.

14. I reserve the right to limit you to two questions per car ride...folks- that's ten questions- I deem it more than fair.

15. I am honest about what I will need/expect from them for an outing to be successful. It is a team effort- and unfortunately if one person chooses NOT to be part of that team, the team will pay the consequences. Generally the older two boys are each assigned a younger boy to be responsible for and I am on toddler duty...this works phenomenally...thank you Michelle Duggar for that tip.

16. We have a TON of fun...we are goofy, we laugh, sing, dance...and the reason we do so is because when Mommy is happy....we are ALL happier!!

And that my friends, is why I am still standing...at least until 9pm when I collapse into bed with a huge slice of chocolate cake and deem my workout the four hours I spent chasing children around the soccer field. It may all sound a little Brady-bunch but when you got a bunch you gotta do what works for YOU. If I have learned anything its that my sanity is worth it- and the kids will probably agree. I'm a bit spoiled because I have an extra set of hands a few hours a week to help with homeschooling and doctors/random appointments... Dad works some crazy hours and is not available to assist with daytime kid duty- so we made that choice so as to allow my hair to gray in due time...and not before I turn 30 =) It does not mean I'm sprinting around town kid-free....just occasionally down 1, 2, maybe 3...amazing how that simplifies things when you get used to 5 in tow!

It's not all waffles with ice cream for breakfast...

Well, it is always waffles...but they're certainly not topped with ice cream...for that matter- everyone gets a rationed three squirts of syrup...and I'd suggest you don't ask for more.

It occurred to me last week, that perhaps my Facebook wall was not an accurate documentation of our transition/adjustment/new normal- call it what you may. The smiles are all real that's for sure- but in documenting our first trip to the beach, vacation, bowling, swimming, biking, museum visits, first day of preschool, and birthdays...I may have led you to inaccurately believe that our children are always smiling....

They are...80% of the time.

They still hurt...still question...

I would be remiss to not tell you...tonight was a night that I found myself absolutely humbled by the sovereignty, healing, and grace of God. That when my children are hurting- He overflows me with love and compassion. That when my children have questions and doubts- He gives me the words.  That when my children are sad- He offers the perfect comfort and I can cry with them. That when my children are happy- He softens the demands of the world and gives me the ease to laugh.

I take refuge in the assurance God gave that these were our children- thus, He would provide all I would need to care for them. And all the forgiveness I would need for the mistakes I would make along the way. God gives me the strength to parent intentionally...to focus on my children...focus on my marriage...focus on Him...and in doing so, He FREES me from the burden of feeling life is out of control, feeling overwhelmed, worrying...He gives me the ability to laugh at the food bill, creativity to meet the power struggles, strength to remind the offender ONCE more to pick up his shoes....oh, and don't get me started on the smell of the bathroom...thank GOD for Bath and Body Works air fresheners!

We actually eat very little ice cream...well the kids eat very little ice cream...(we hide the bowls before the breakfast rush.) We have a pretty structured schedule...the consequences can be harsh...we parent all five children fairly and ask God to give us the wisdom to remember the circumstances from which they came...

Tonight someone made the comment to me "What an awesome family"...to which I responded, "I think so too!"...God stitches families together...and His work is always awesome. 

Where we have been, Where we are now, and Where we are going...

There are so many unknowns with adoption. Personality, demeanor, behavior, education, emotionally, physically....even if you never thought about it before stepping onto the plane...you have been granted the luxury of 20 hours of traveling to envision the child(ren) that is waiting for you on the other side. In adopting three siblings- we tripled our cluelessness. But four months into our "new" normal...we will never forget where we have been, where we are now....and we continue to dream of where we are going!

Where we have been....
Our three boys were never...not for a moment...shy or quiet. They are full of life...funny...ACTIVE...and ALL boy. Coming home, they knew very little English. I really have to dig back in my memory to recall this...but yes, I do remember the blank stares I got ALL day for the first six weeks. (Nobody is lying to you...I promise...something weird happens around six weeks and you start to forget you are living with people who don't speak your language- no, they may not be speaking English but some weird 24/7 Pictionary game has become the norm.) Our boys had very little, if any, formal schooling before coming home. This meant, we worked everyday (7 days a week at first to help them build a structured and dependable day) in our school room...we started with colors, shapes, letters, and counting. Our children attempted bicycle riding with training wheels for the first time the day after we got home...they were overwhelmed by our play room...did not know what to do at a park...struggled to sit in the car for five minutes without asking "how many red/yellow/green?" (What? You don't have that gps function yet?) They had never step foot in more than a foot of water and clung to us in our backyard pool. They were hesitant meeting new people (outside the family circle) and (2 out of 3) thought this America food was "this is no".

Where we are now...
Our boys are STILL not shy or quiet...in fact, if possible they have come out of their shells even more. They exude an endless joy...which on the flip side is also a very passionate opinion. They consider themselves quite the English speakers- they are not- but it's coming along quite nicely! They have mastered colors, shapes, numbers, some basic addition, and get this- the Pledge of Allegiance! We just finished our first chapter book (I read it to them) and they can tell you the basic plot line (this was an awesome experience!) They participate in devotional time, have started their reading and math curriculum...can now sit for 2+ hours of school time- we are now able to take weekends off because they can handle the schedule disruption. In fact, today being Labor Day, they were shocked but handled the news very well that we would not be going to the library (we go every Monday) because it was closed for the holiday. They can spend an hour at a park in uninterrupted play. THEY ALL RIDE TWO-WHEELERS....we even have one skateboarder...and they can all swim underwater (even Little Man has gotten used to putting his face under!) They all play on soccer teams...they have eaten out, tried many new foods, and after some battles mommy and daddy were sure to win...eat what they are given every night. They sleep about 10 hours a night and go to bed without a single complaint. They have figured out I do NOT know the traffic light layout in our city so they now opt to ask "how many minutes?" Hey- I take all the progress I can get! These last two weeks we have been working through some heart struggles. We have been role playing, reassuring, and offering a script for how to handle some of the emotions they are experiencing. Believe me, I have nothing to complain about...we are dealing with very normal and very expected scenarios...90% of the time I am amazed by how well they are able to handle the situations they encounter...they are children who have undergone a HUGE transition...they still and I imagine for quite some time will need mommy's reassurance.

Where we are going...
Oh I can only dream of where we will be in a year. I honestly can't imagine...I can't even grasp how far we have come in four months. These are truly three different kids than the kids we brought home four months ago. They are amazing...they are SO SO funny...they are healing...and I pray and have faith God will continue to heal them. Our major goal for homeschool is to have two readers by the end of the school year! At that point I have promised myself a cruise (unrealistic?) I imagine they will have come a long way in their school work...their social circles will include non-siblings...and please Lord...they will be able to tell time! 

When normalcy returns...

But the questions begin...and the doubt remains

These past two weeks have been filled with questions...and statements...and glances...and the occasional fearful eyes. Our boys look like any other three kids, sound like any other three kids, fit in like any other three kids. Oh yes, they still have very obvious Ethiopian accents...but English is coming- faster for some than others. We have braved Target twice this week for random items and I have not trembled with fear at the thought of what seeing that much stuff in one place might cause someone to do. Although someone did ask quite loudly if it was okay to eat cotton balls. Normal life is returning...

But normal life does not mean there aren't questions and doubts..."We all Mommy's children?" "I no from your tummy." "We're going back???" Little things that have been misinterpreted and someone is suddenly struck with fear that they are going back to Ethiopia. The realization we are different colors...maternity pictures...baby pictures of Little Man and Little Miss...all of it stirs emotions- raises eyebrows.

My response has been honesty.

Obviously when it comes to color- well- its obvious.
"I want to look like you mommy."
"Oh honey, your skin is such a beautiful brown and I love it so much. Families don't have to look the same...we are still a family."

"Mommy only has two children."
"I have five children, you're right if you are saying you didn't come from my tummy. But you are still my child."

We acknowledge that their birthmother is who gave birth to them... I reassure them that it is okay to have two mommies (birth and adoptive)...that God has plans for our lives and above everything else He is our heavenly father who never forgets about us. I tell them how we came up with their middle names (we kept their ET first names) and remind them we chose each one just for them.

"We're not brothers and sisters."
"You are, in adoption and isn't that the coolest thing ever."
And we role play, and reassure....and then I see it click- and from the kitchen window I see a big brother take Little Miss and gently lift her onto the swing and push her. Giggles fill the backyard...and I continue sweeping the kitchen as if nothing miraculous has occurred.

This is adoption. Where transition seems to end...normal life resumes...the hurt remains...and the healing continues. 

What we did to prepare our home for +3....and what we did while they were sleeping...

In our case, preparing for +3 actually meant moving. For us it was a matter of gender separation for sleeping...as well as room for moving/playing/breathing during the day. We were already tight as a family of four (I know, I know, American materialism) so we knew adding three more might send mommy mentally over the edge. So we moved to a bigger home that allowed the older two boys to share, the little boys to share, and the princess to have her own room. It doesn't HAVE to be this way...it's just what we chose to do.

I often joke with other adoptive mom friends that this is the post nobody writes- how do you prepare your house? So we started with bare rooms (because we had moved). We kept everything as bare as possible...beds, 1 dresser in the big boys room and a couple of baskets in their closet, and 2 rubbermaid drawer sets in the little boys closet for clothes. In reality, our 4 year old wasn't ready for that many clothes. We quickly discovered it was best to put his clothes in our room and provide him one outfit a day. We did that for two weeks and then for two weeks we allowed him to pick his outfit, and then we gradually allowed him to choose two outfits (saving one for the next day in his closet) and eventually moved his clothing back to his room at about two months home. The little boys had NO toys in their room and while they were sleeping one night we removed all the books- as this turned out to be best for our youngest adopted. Our big boys have 2 toy building sets in their room. We kept the walls pretty bare...we added curtains at their request to keep the sun out. In terms of clothing. We provided each child with one drawer of clothing...roughly 5 pairs of shorts and 10 shirts. They share a drawer split down the middle for underwear. They each came home to two pairs of shoes, 1 sandals and 1 slip-ons and we took them out to purchase one pair of sneakers.

Toys toys toys. In our house, they were everywhere. Even though we THOUGHT we had cleaned out a lot- we found it best to remove A LOT of them to the garage one night while they were sleeping. It was WAY too much for what they were used to. We have gradually moved some back in...sometimes allowing them to pick one to bring in and take care of for a week. We found this really taught them how to value possessions and more importantly, how to play with toys. We really found they did not know how to use many of the toys we had. I am convinced toys build upon each other...so therefore if you never had stacking blocks as a six month old- it's unlikely legos make any sense to you. One toy at a time helped them understand the toy, become imaginative, and enjoy it.

I dislike TV. My children do watch it. We chose to have one TV available for watching during certain times of the day. Typically one show in the morning and a movie while our youngest naps in the afternoon (and downtime for mom). We limit TV to these times and this works well for our children.

Food. We allowed 2 days of adjustment...meaning on the first morning home- popcorn and hamburger rolls are what they ate by their choice. We also allowed 2 days of understanding food would be readily available- meaning we did not say no (in reason) to snacks of fruit. After 2 days we set up a food schedule and "this is no" was not acceptable. You eat what you get. In answer to the question "Banana?" I often respond "do you see bananas on the table?" If it isn't on the table, it isn't an option. This was as much for my sanity as anything. But I do feel the 2 days helped cement the idea- there's enough food now. I am always careful to remember where they are coming from...but always very aware of the slippery slope we will head down if compromise becomes an option. I'd also say...no free reign of the pantry helped us...only mom and dad have access to it in our house.

School. Oh, the debate. You will know. That is all I am going to say.

Cocooning. We didn't but we also didn't go to others' homes or play with very many friends for about 2 months. We would go to the beach, come home. We kept our own little circle but explored public places. Our middle child didn't go to a food store for 2.5 months- our youngest still hasn't. Our oldest has gone food shopping with me on several occasions. You will know. It's also a decision that you can change. If you go out three days and its tragic...stay home three days. We STILL, three months later, sometimes take 2 days to stay home after a very busy week or just because I can tell they need it. It's a lot to take in...America is a pretty crazy place.

Hopefully someone out there finds this helpful! There's no set method as I have learned...just doing what seems right for your children and tweaking the plan as you go along!

If you asked me about adoption...

Our boys have been home almost three months. It seems longer and shorter at the same time. When I repeat the same sentence three times and still get blank stares....it seems shorter. When I see them throw on their shinguards, cleats, and grab their water bottle heading off to a soccer match....it feels longer. So much has changed since they came home....so much is still in transition...so many questions are still unanswered...and so many hearts are still healing.

If we happened to sit down over coffee and chat about adoption...this is what I would tell you.

If you said..Oh, I thought you always wanted to adopt....

No. Don't get me wrong- we had talked about it. The same way you talk about things you might do in the future. Then it got talked about more...then we learned about Ethiopia...and the children...and the waiting children...and then our boys.

If you asked me would I do it again?

This is a tricky question. Something you wouldn't ask a woman as she was being discharged from the hospital post-delivery. As or right now- my heart is very content. Adjusting to five children, meeting all their needs, reaching their hearts on a daily basis...my hands are full and my heart is at peace. Sometimes it wanders to the very many children still waiting...knowing my boys waited for two years and others continue to do so... adoption is a major and life-altering process for all involved- the ethics of each case, the adjustment, the finances....oh it is so worth it...but all of those pieces need to be carefully considered- especially the ethics. What I would say is- there are VERY many ways to get involved in programs, sponsorship programs, etc. that REALLY TRULY help the children of third-world countries- and for now that is something we will continue to seek to be a part of.

If you happened to tell me you have thought about adoption..

I would believe you...and ask you questions. I would assume you have really thought about it- maybe even knew through which country you would enter the process. I might even assume you have prayed about it- and God told you it wasn't for you....or maybe He said it was...

If you happened to tell me you have thought about adopting in ten years...and a baby.

I would honestly without hesitation tell you that there are children waiting now...I would tell you that when you request a baby- in regards to ET adoption- you are likely entering a list at 100+ and waiting for a baby to be born...while other children wait. I am not shy about this anymore. I DO believe we need SOME families waiting for infants...but only for the infants that are available. This may not be what you want to hear...and so then I will say, I'm sorry. This is what I feel strongly about...and I'm sure there are things you feel strongly about...those whose hearts God has softened to the orphan are so needed...

If you happened to tell me you would adopt but you don't have patience...

Oh girl...tell me about it....neither do I. I have a temper...I am impatient...but I have God....and forgiving children.

If you happened to tell me you would adopt but you don't want to disrupt your biological childrens' lives...

I would say...you will...you will disrupt their lives...because they are used to ALL the attention...eating waffles for dinner because they don't like red sauce...getting to choose ALL the books at storytime...choosing which TV show to watch....ok so, your kid's gonna learn to share, eat what you cooked, learn compromise....all good things to master before entering the workforce. Your bio kids are gonna learn the world doesn't revolve around them....and another child is going to have a mother to tuck them in at night- and eat more than one meal a day. 

If you happened to say...I would adopt but my husband doesn't want to...

I would say pray. 

Please know I am not seeking to offend anyone and please understand I know there ARE infants that NEED families...but three months on the other side- three months of watching my children heal...I'm wishing I had gone to coffee with me two years ago...

Everything I need to Know about Life...I learned this summer

Today I caught myself telling the kids, "Well the summer is ending..." and then I bit my tongue and stopped mid-sentence...ending- we still have another month! This summer has been different...amazingly different. When I look back at May, then look at my three new children, I think "did this all really happen in two months?" Every night I say the words...we have come a long way in such a short amount of time. The days go by fast, the weeks fly...it is Friday before I have even grasped Monday. Five kids will keep you busy. And yet, the last nine weeks have seemed like a lifetime of experience, learning, revelations, insight, and self-awareness...

This summer I have learned that God is real. God is present. God speaks to us even when we don't want to listen. I am not one to often (or ever) claim to hear the audible voice of God....but about nine months ago in a Walmart parking lot around 10pm- I cannot deny that in the midst of my turmoil and indecision...I heard him say...He is your son. God is patient...He had already made it clear that these were my children...He had already asked me to go, I hesitated, and so he told me again....and yesterday, my son turned ten. And by God's grace I kissed him good night and told him I love him.

This summer I have learned that my children have been entrusted to me...and are on loan from their heavenly father. I am to advocate for them, to discipline in His love, to raise Godly children who will seek HIS will for their lives...to instill in them the confidence and purpose that He would want for them...they are fragile little beings...and He has given them to me. I am to protect them to the best of my abilities...even when it means going against public opinion...and society's ways.

This summer I have learned that no matter how mean of a mother I feel when I finally collapse on the bed at night...they will love me in the morning. By God's grace, children are designed to unconditionally love. I have also learned that being a mother means unconditionally loving.

This summer I have learned to forego makeup....it's just better when the toddler is supervised.

This summer I have learned to turn a weak meal into a feast with a few chips and salsa on the side.

This summer I have learned to love people I have never met...because they gave life to my children.

This summer I learned that pools are God's gift to a summer afternoon free of sibling rivalry (or as good as it's gonna get).

This summer I learned that membership passes are also a gift from God.

This summer I learned that my husband is the best father my children could have...

This summer I learned that children are resilient....children have a fierce desire to seize life...and overcome.

This summer I learned that bubbles fix everything.

This summer I learned that paper dishes...although not environmentally friendly...are definitely the way to go.

This summer I learned that children can meet the expectations we set for them...

This summer I learned that I will never really know the next direction my life will go...and I'm okay with that.

This summer God released me from the chains of anxiety...

This summer I learned that God is the redeemer of brokenness...

This summer I learned that in the midst of trauma and loss...God still has a plan...

This summer I learned that God seeks our obedience...and when we go...He blesses.

This summer I am in wonder, in awe, often in tears, and overwhelming thankful for a God who once upon a time heard my plans to "marry at 28 and be a career woman" and said..."No." Thankful HIS plans are greater than our plans.

And we still have a month to go...

Why We are Homeschooling...

This is the decision my husband and I have been praying about, contemplating, questioning, and analyzing for months (maybe even years). The idea of homeschooling was foreign to me when I met my husband. He, however, was homeschooled until the fifth grade and truly believes in it. Over time, and with the addition of more children, I have definitely seen the benefits of taking the time to learn with your children. After all, I do believe that is what homeschooling is- learning WITH your children. It's about knowing what is being put into their little squishy absorbent minds...and realizing that EVERYTHING they hear they believe whole-heartedly. Who better to make the decision about what they are absorbing but their parents? When Little Man was born I began to consider homeschooling...and as preschool registration rolled around I realized I wasn't ready to send him. Then it rolled around again...and again I failed to register him. I justified it by saying he could learn the same thing at home- we could save money, I didn't want to drag Little Miss out three mornings a week to drop him off and pick him up right smack dab in the middle of her naptime. But as the year went by I began to realize what was really happening....I didn't want to MISS watching him learn. I questioned whether I was being selfish...I still do....but I'm slowly realizing there are better ways to be selfish!

Enter our three newly adopted children. My heart aches at the thought of sending them (just down the street) to school in a few short weeks time. Are they ready? Can they handle making new friends? Will they know to ask for help? Can they find their way to the bathroom and back to class? What will happen if they get really hungry in the middle of the day? These questions are just the tip of the iceberg. I have rationalized away my doubt...and then it has resurfaced. I have questioned my motives...over and over again...but I have failed to find an extreme disservice to homeschooling. They are doing SO SO SO well....and I wonder...with all that they have experienced, with all that they have overcome...is it worth sticking them in a classroom with 20 other students who can likely read, write, and speak in English just for them to be frustrated, struggling to keep up (or catch up), and exhausted by the long day- only to come home to homework. Is it worth them thinking "it's too hard", "I'll never get it", "I'm the only one who can't"? Is it worth them questioning for even a moment whether they can do it...because I am their mother and I know them best- I KNOW THEY CAN. Do they have to "get it" in a school building for it to count?

No, I do not have a teacher's license...my only experience with education is my own schooling...but I LOVE to learn. I LOVE to read and write...to watch the faces on children when they "get it" or when they realize they DO know the answer...and oh boy- do I desire nothing more than to be sitting next to my sons when they read their first sentence! We've missed a lot of their lives...it's not something we harp on...in fact, I think very little about the development and milestones I've missed...but this is ONE thing I can be there for and be a part of...watching them LEARN how to LEARN and love it. I have the ability to teach them to read...a third grade classroom teacher doesn't- she can't- she has 20 other students who need to learn how to write an essay. Unfortunately, even if she wanted to- she cannot take the time with my son that I can.

Am I doing this alone? No. I won't even try to fool you. God has brought us a wonderful "helper" who will be with me during the school hours and helping me to keep the littles out from under my feet. She will also be doing art with them- I will share what they create!

Yes, homeschooling is legal. I am excited about it. I will ask and seek help if I need it. It will not overwhelm me because my main goal will always be allowing my children the time and space to adjust to the HUGE transition they just underwent. We are going to be structured- this is something we have already put into place- we already plan for approximately 1.5 to 2 hrs of school time now- and we will gradually increase over the next four weeks as we begin to implement a curriculum. We will have fun, we will laugh together...and we will have 35 more hours in our week to learn how to be a family, to bond, to build confidence, and to allow our children the comfort, flexibility, and pace that they need to learn. My children have waited two years for a mother...not to go to school. This is not a forever thing...it is a this year thing...and we will re-evaluate as needed.

So, here we go...Rehoboth Academy will remain open for business! 

What He already knew.

I have struggled with how to put into words what I want to share. How do I begin to tell you about the three children I have watched transform before my eyes? How do I explain that when we met our children during our court trip our oldest was experiencing 6-7 brief seizures a day (the type where his eyes fluttered, rolled back and then 15-20 seconds later ended) and since coming home he has had ONE. ONE in 9 weeks...his EEG came back perfectly normal and the neurosurgeon told me I had to leave the office because our son has shown way TOO MUCH improvement for him to be concerned at all. He said- send him a message in six months because he can't wait to hear how great he is doing. How do I begin to tell you the amount of English learned in 9 weeks...the learning letters, shapes, colors? How do I begin to describe the places we have gone...the excitement, the fun, the laughs, the memories?

I have no earthly explanations...I know only one person who knew this situation LONG before we began to have the desire in our hearts...God assured us long before we made any decisions that these were our children...and He is sticking to that story.

Older adopted children carry more trauma, more history, more memories. Older children have likely waited longer....older children have more obstacles to overcome...maybe more questions that need to be answered. But older children also carry a huge amount of HOPE....hope that this is what they have been waiting, dreaming, imagining...that this whole adoption thing really is something better than the walls of the orphanage they have become accustomed to. Older children bring culture to the home...songs, stories, dances...they bring a light in their eye as they discover this new world you are laying out before them. They bring vulnerability....trying to trust that you will not hurt them or leave them and the underlying fear that you might. The hope they have is contagious...

Our three new children have renewed my faith in a God I THOUGHT I knew. They have bonded with our biological children in a way that only God could have known they would...because I was sure wondering on the trip home from the airport! Each day I wonder...WHY did they have to wait two years...and I'm guessing because two years ago- I'm not sure I could have told you where Ethiopia was.  I have to believe there was a purpose to their wait. But I'm also not going to sit here and write you horror stories...there are none. The struggles in my day are no different than any other mother to five kids. I like to say they are my personalized workout. Unfortunately I'm also eating hot dogs and pizza along with them! They fight over who the "prayer person" of the day is...who is going to take out the trash...whose turn it is to pick the movie at rest time..who REALLY left the back door open....and who is going to be Batman today. We artificially twinned...adopted out of birth order...and brought home three older boys....and we are going to survive to our first post-placement visit to tell about it.

The good, the bad, the ugly...

This is the post in which I am going to talk about the thing I thought about the least in regards to bringing home three older children....discipline. Oh, I read the books and the blogs...I knew the ugly that could happen...but in reality, we didn't really have a plan. At this time, I am going to say that without my incredible mother-in-law I am not sure we would be the family we are at seven weeks home. It is one thing to KNOW your child might throw a fit- or a table- when being told "no" to a fifth banana (no, I'm not exaggerating)...but the whole "Honey, I know you are upset..." didn't seem as EFFECTIVE as some books thought it might be when the child is a REAL, LIVE, HURTING individual. So...talking from my very insanely short experience as an adoptive mom- I'm going to share what it was like integrating and stabilizing three newly adopted children into a currently existing family of four. Please know- this post is specifically in regards to stabilizing...I am fully aware my children are just scraping the surface of their hurts.

Now, given I have an education in counseling/psychology and absolutely no field experience other than my ridiculous number of internship hours...to me, this was the case study of a lifetime...so, perhaps I enjoyed it a little more than others might have. In reality, I have never felt closer to God in my entire life...how HE could choose us, to witness this absolutely incredible transformation...I am beyond humbled. How HE could bless me with three children when I was so illy unequipped, such an immature parent (I only had three years experience), with a temper, high level anxiety, and severe lack of patience...oh, is our God a God of redemption.

It only took about oh, 1 day, to realize our toddler style parenting wasn't going to hack it, nor should it have. We are talking about children who sought safety yet became easily angered when told "Oh, honey, jumping from the second story balcony is NOT a good idea!" Hmm...how do you approach that?

Consequences.

For us, we needed to stick to our word...no deviating...if we said it- it happened..I know, I know...this wasn't what the books said...guess what? We didn't do what the books advised...sticking to birth order...yadda yadda yadda. So, it wasn't long before we realized we didn't have TIME to do what the books said...sitting in a time-in for 4 hours of the day while a toddler cooked herself lunch and changed her diaper wasn't realistic. Believe me, we showered them with attention...and stuck to the major theme- It's not about us KNOWING they are safe- it's about THEM feeling safe. For our children- this was knowing that what we said was GOING to happen....safety came from knowing the rules and feeling the boundaries- I am convinced of this...and also being assured 100 times a day that this was FOR REAL and FOREVER. One of their favorite games to play is to tell me they are going to Ethiopia tomorrow...at which point they would like to see me fake cry and beg them to stay. I'm going out on a limb and guessing this conjures up good feelings of being wanted and loved...and that's a game I don't mind playing =)

Our children LOVE a routine. They want to know breakfast is followed 2.5 hrs later by a snack..., lunch, snack, etc. They want to know we do "school" Monday-Friday...what day the trash comes, soccer practice...will we swim at 4pm? Oh yes, we swim everyday at 4pm...why? Because it provides them the safety of knowing what the day will hold. And maybe because losing swimming is motivation?

The first two to three weeks held some tough consequences...every night I could have cried about how horrible of a mother I was...I felt mean...as if I couldn't prove enough to them how much I loved them...how could they feel loved when the day was filled with "if you don't...you won't" and then actually instituting the consequence....how could they know I was doing this so they WOULD be happy...and thriving members of a family? Every night for four weeks my mother-in-law sat with me and reassured me...giving me thumbs up as I handled situations throughout the day...and cleaning my kitchen so that when the last child went to bed- my day was done. She assured me...one mother to five kids can easily become burnt-out...make them the kids you enjoy being around- because ANY kid will take as long as you are willing to give...don't engage in battles you don't need/want to fight...give the consequence, let them make the choice. She was a teacher- can you tell?


Seven weeks later- I send my mother-in-law texts..."You will never believe what so-and so did...All God!" Our beautifully handsome children are mere glimpses of the children we brought home seven weeks ago- and those children were already pretty awesome! We are lucky...we are blessed...we serve a great and awesome God....we serve a God of redemption.

I am a better mother because of His plan...I am BEING refined...my God knew the children I would best parent- by birth and adoption he blessed me with five children who refine me daily and who I can mother only by His grace...and their forgiveness- because I will always fall short...just short enough to where HE can make of the difference. Our God heals...I am watching it everyday...through tears of joy...everyday my children surprise me...we are only beginning...

Someone is 4!

It's official...we now have two four year olds in the house...Little Man turned FOUR on the FOURTH! (So this post is late as per usual!) Summer has lots of celebrating for us...all SEVEN of our b-days fall during the summer time. First Dad kicked it off...

Which for our boys was pretty much the most awesome thing ever...here is my favorite photo!

This was taken as he first saw the cake with candles coming towards the table...tell me that is not pure joy!

And here are some photos of Little Man's big day...

I'll be back with more birthday pictures in a few weeks!! 

Summer School is Cool....

The best part about bringing your kids home in May is that you have 4 months of great transition/adjusting/language learning time before school starts in September. On the flip side....you get to explain for four months why they are NOT going to school yet. The whole idea of a summer break just doesn't make sense! We have debated the pros and cons of homeschooling our children...at this point in time we know our soon to be 7yr old will be attending public school in the fall and have yet to decide for the others. So for now...Rehoboth Academy as we have fondly named our homeschool is in full swing. We're continuing the tradition of naming the family homeschool. We chose this name based upon Genesis 26:22 "...He named it Rehoboth, saying 'Now the Lord has given us room and we will flourish in the land.'" We chose it because we truly feel blessed by our new house and that this home was God's plan for us and our new family.

Here are some pictures of our kids in action in our school room!

Reviewing flash cards...

Sensory Play with a shaving cream car wash...

 Field trip to pick strawberries...

 When the "teacher" is woken up at 5am...sometimes class just gets moved to a park!

 Field trip to the zoo!

  Practicing shapes...the plates also had a shape on them and the goal was to throw it to the corresponding shape on the floor.

Relay race...."Go get a triangle!"

 Puzzle time.

It has been one of the most amazing experiences to watch my children LEARN how to LEARN. To watch them let their guard down...to relax...feel safe...and absorb. I love introducing new concepts and watching it "click". Shapes have definitely proved difficult for them but it has been fun to come up with new and creative ways to help them grasp/remember the shape name. Right now we are working through basic concepts and as they are ready I am challenging them...we are not using a set curriculum right now...although we are using A LOT of great ideas from Pinterest and quite a bit from the Letter of the Week curriculum on Confessions of a Homeschooler. All four boys also love Kumon books. From the moment breakfast is finished I have one or two following me around, "Mom, school?" We love to get our school time out of the way early so we try to wrap up by 10:30 (we start around 8:45/9). When we first started "school" the week after they came home- thirty minutes was about the max I could get them to work with me...so you can see how much improvement we have seen in six weeks time!

One Month Home.

It is hard to believe. We landed in America one month ago. After hours and hours of traveling...we walked off the plane with two insanely happy little boys and one sobbing. We tried and tried to comfort him knowing our family was waiting on the other side...his brothers promised him we were DONE with planes and we were really in America now. They begged and pleaded with him to walk..."Grammy, Grandma, camera, balloons" they repeated- but nothing consoled him...and so we carried him....crying...to meet his new family members.

The next day we realized that by the time we had landed we had been traveling 29 hrs and he had slept maybe 5 of them...and it was currently 2am in Ethiopia (the day after we had started the trip)...and he is only four. He had cried on and off during the trip...and sometimes his face just said it all...as if he was thinking- "my brothers think this is a good idea?" He was the baby...but not anymore...now he is the middle child...in a family of 5 kids...and he has been artificially twinned...a whole lot to take in in one month's time. And really when I step back and think about it, he is doing great. In fact, today he attended his first American birthday party for a friend of Little Man!

It has been one month. I can hardly believe it (did I say that already?) They are riding bikes, eating McDonald's, jumping in bounce houses, riding power wheels, begging for popsicles, living it up at the beach, jumping in our pool, playing on soccer teams, asking to go to school....they are kids...kids who test and challenge, try to bargain for a second cookie, protest bedtime, tattle on their brother, and give their sister anything her little heart desires.

They are learning how to be siblings...Little Miss now has four doting big brothers who love to make her laugh...and likewise- she keeps them howling in laughter...in many ways- she was the key to bonding all five together. Little Man has gained some confidence...he has tried new foods, gotten over his fear of the ocean...he laughs...A LOT...he is also EXHAUSTED from keeping up with three big brothers.

Sometimes it is hard when you are meeting this adjustment phase- for them and me (2 to 5 kids is an adjustment for mom!) head on, day after day, you easily forget just how much progress has been made in one month. And then, I remember the morning after returning home- seven adults trying to keep track of 5 kids trying to ride bicycles- reminding them that in America cars come down the street...and my head spinning thinking "How will I do this alone?"....fast-forward one month and that day seems like a distant memory- we CAN ride bikes outside...heck, 2 are now riding 2-wheelers! And believe me- that seems miraculous!! When you end the day with a bedtime protest- sometimes it seems like the whole day was tragic...but when I look back over the day I realize- hey- we ate lunch out- like sitting at a table- and nobody complained...oh, and everyone ate dinner, showered, attended story time...wait- we played a game together like a normal family...and swam in the pool laughing...hmmm- we DID have a great day!

Many people have asked how I am? I'm busy- which I like...I'm happy...I'm often on the verge of tears if I even have a remote thought of the life my children had a mere two months ago...I'm tired of course- until my second wind around 9pm...I often don't have the answers and parent on instinct...the books have failed me more than once- my kids don't fit the books- and for that I am thankful. I am learning how to be a better parent- following through- accepting the crying and complaining because in the long-run- my consistency is going to prove worthwhile! I am living in absolute awe and wonder at my God.

When I look back over this journey all I can see is God's story coming together...it started with Him and He saw it through....HE told us these children were ours (one day I will share that story)...HE brought them home...HE is the one healing their hurts and their hearts...HE'S GOT THIS...somewhere along the way I actually started believing this...my husband just returned home from a 10 day trip for work...our kids did great- despite what all the books say and warn...he had to go on this trip and all we could do was pray that God would comfort the boys in his absence...upon his leaving I truly felt confident He would-...and you know what HE DID! They did awesome! They were so excited to see him return- he surprised them at their soccer game...and they picked up right where they left off. God's pretty awesome....He had this family planned long before we did...and there was nothing that was going to keep us from coming together.

One month home...and finding our new normal.

Redemption

      

Sometimes when I look at his smile...I can't help but think of God's Redemption

He WILL bring us all to where we need to be for HIS healing to take place.

                                      It’s the moment when humanity
                                        Is overcome by majesty
                                    When grace is ushered in for good
                                   And all our scars are understood
                               When mercy takes its rightful place
                                 And all these questions fade away
                              When out of the weakness we must bow
                                   And hear You say “It’s over now”
                                                              ~MercyMe
                                                                "The Hurt and the Healer"

Are we Cocooning?

No...and yes.

My answer really depends on the day and time you ask me. Do we let just anybody into our house? No. Are we confining ourselves to the walls of our home? No. Have we fed the boys fast food? YOU BET. Have we left home and explored public places? Yes or I'd have ripped all my hair out. Let's face it- we have three VERY active boys...+ 2 more active bio kiddos. We are busting at the seams with energy starting at 6am...add early risers to non-stop energy and mom is 4 cups of coffee in by 9am! So, yes, we are cocooning and no, we are not. We have been to the beach three times, an indoor playground, bowling, ice cream, McDonald's, Sonic, the doctor, the mall for shoes, bounce houses- I think that's everything. Have we walked into a birthday party of 50 kids and told our boys to fend for themselves? No. We are monitoring our boys for any single moment of hesitancy or fearfulness, anxiety or concern...and we have not seen it in these situations. We try to limit our outings to every other day max. We did two days in a row last week and noticed we needed to pull things back in- so we did- and it worked well.

Personally, the idea of cocooning frightened me beyond belief before bringing our boys home. With our 2 bio kids- I preferred keeping busy- morning and afternoon activities- sign me up! I like to be on the go- I like to be tired at the end of the day and I ESPECIALLY like tired kids at the end of the day. Isn't that the point? So I expected keeping all 5 of our kids home day after day could really be the biggest challenge God had in store for me. Thankfully- God gave me 3 more kids who like to be on the go..."car, go, out?"Our boys behave beautifully in public- do they always want to get OUT of the car when we get home? No, but we are working on it =) It also helps that I am not on my own just yet. My amazing mother-in-law has been here since the beginning. Some may say that is completely opposite of cocooning but for us and our personal situation it was necessary. We are a young family where Dad works very long hours and also travels- the second set of hands has been much needed during the day during this transition. The boys have responded well to her and for that I am very grateful!

So- that is the best I can answer that question. We are doing what works well for us on that day and in that moment! The boys are doing well...we are overcoming challenges- working through things- and ultimately finding our new "normal".

Our Pediatrician Calls It...

Experiential Healing.

One Week HOME...

Today marks one week as a family of seven! I'm not even sure where to begin this post....this week has held so much joy, pain, happiness, confusion, laughter, questioning, SINGING, hurt, dancing...so much of so many emotions. I'm not sure I will put it eloquently tonight- but I do want to have something written to remember where we are now- so one year from now I can look back. To start, the boys are doing phenomenal- I have read enough to know that they are not without their struggles and questions- and we are not without ours- but they are doing great. Are we seeing pain? Yes. Without a doubt. And rightfully so. Are we seeing happiness? ABSOLUTELY. This house has never been filled with more laughter, singing, and dancing than it has this week. We laugh so hard sometimes that tears flow....such was the other night when the two oldest and Little Man put on a show for us with traditional song and dance mixed in with some contemporary rock. Or when B (our 6 year old) came up to me at the stove and asked if he could eat "a foot"....you know- a chicken leg. They make us laugh, they challenge us, and they make us question everything we thought we knew about parenting. Isn't that every kid's job? Today when we surprised them with a trip to the beach and let them run free- they threw themselves in the water- face first into the waves...laughing huge deep belly laughs, screaming free...I thought of one word...soaking...we are soaking it all in, soaking in each other, learning how to be a family...soaking in God's plan for us...soaking in the hurt and the healing...and grateful that God had bigger plans for all of us.

WE ARE HOME!!!

THEY ARE COMING HOME!!!

Early this morning a cry came from down the hall...right around 5:40am....after putting said child into our bed and stealing another hour of sleep....my husband snuck downstairs with Little Man and found that at 5:40am halfway across the world...our other three children were CLEARED by the embassy! That's right folks...Little Miss was just trying to be the first to announce that....OUR BOYS ARE COMING HOME!!!! We leave this weekend and head to Ethiopia....and by this time next week we will have our boys in our arms for good!

I have NO earthly reason to give for why we cleared embassy so fast...but I'll take it!

It is hard to believe that we are heading into the final phase of the adoption journey....and a WHOLE NEW adventure is about to unfold! To God we give ALL the glory.....for only He could write such a story of redemption and grace....He makes ALL things beautiful in His time! 

The Great Adoption Debate: And Why We Did It Anyway

When we first began considering the prospect of adopting our next child....we were immediately confronted with a decision to make- of who? At the time Little Man was just about to turn 3 and Little Miss was 8 months old. It seemed almost natural that we would approach this change in our family dynamic the same way as a pregnancy....in fact, some agencies suggested we wouldn't have an option otherwise...and one told us it was best to wait to adopt until Little Miss was older (obviously we didn't go with that agency). We settled with an agency that was not completely against going out of birth order...just in case very young siblings were in God's plan for us...we honestly thought we might wait until a pair of siblings younger than three were available....and so we proceeded and planned to bring home an infant.

Yet, even after we began the paperwork...something did not seem right. We were about to take our place at 100+ on a waitlist....and then I heard about the Waiting Child List....well, something seemed a little backwards to me...we were about to wait for a child...when other children were waiting for a family. I began to think- God- you gotta help me process this!

 Again we found ourselves questioning- WHO? God began to take the wheel- and lead us to WHO HE HAD for our family...yes, it completely shook us to see that it did not match what every book, most agencies, and common thought suggests...do NOT disrupt birth order! Keep your oldest the oldest...not only were we disrupting birth order but we were also artificially twinning...and bringing home three older boys. But despite all that...it was clear that God was speaking...our hearts could not deny it...now we just had to wrap our minds around it.

The more we thought about it....the more we began to question....why is it so important for the biological child to remain the oldest? What about the adopted child...what if THEY ARE the oldest in their sibling set...do we not take their birth order into consideration? There is more to this birth order debate than we really talk about. Are we worried about de-throning the biological oldest for the right reasons? Is it because they exude such leadership qualities that we fear risking their future presidential possibilities....or because its HARD to bring in a new oldest...its HARD to mix-up, disrupt, and beautifully re-design the make-up of our family? Yes, this IS going to be a struggle in our house...I am certainly not writing this from a place of expertise or success. I decided to share because when we were faced with this decision I searched endlessly for the blogs of families who had done what we are about to do! Bringing home older children presents a whole new set of considerations...school, language, a whole history we do not know about, perhaps a whole lot longer time spent in an orphanage....but it ALSO brings home children who are waiting...waiting for somebody to choose them, despite the scars and history, despite the language barrier, despite the missed first steps, lost tooth, and first word...

In our time with our boys during court- we got to experience a lot of firsts...it still gives me chills when I remember their first bite of ice cream...yeah, its a little different watching a 9 year old take their first bite of ice cream than a toddler...but seriously...9 years of waiting to try ice cream?!?!? How fun is it to buy them that first bowl- I think I might have been more excited than him!

I pray that anyone reading this knows that I thoroughly understand the need for families willing to wait for an infant...adoption needs to be a team effort...so that no child should ever have to wait...but if we are for adoption we need to be for ALL orphans... so for those families in the same shoes we were less than a year ago...I thought I would share how we came to our decision to bring home our three precious boys.

We've been SUBMITTED!

Through blurry early morning vision this morning I saw the awaited email...Your case has been submitted! It feel like by a true miracle that exactly one month from passing court we have been submitted to embassy =) What does this mean? I can't really tell you just yet....but hopefully in two or three weeks we will have more information and maybe even travel dates to bring our boys home! There was a point in time that I could not picture this day...and now I look behind and before me at the true miracle that God has performed...and I apologize to Him for all the "you better do this God" threats...because He is...and I should have known all along that He WOULD...but I guess that is what happens when you take a leap of faith and begin to realize that what you are doing is really for YOUR growth...and I have to remind myself that when you follow God's lead you are really walking on holy ground- where things that seem completely unfeasible...actually happen. 

How do you go from "We're thinking of..." to "We're adopting!"

Tonight, while at a friend's for dinner we were asked a question- one we haven't been asked before! The question was...

How do you go from, "we're thinking of adopting"....to...."we're adopting!"

Exactly one year ago is when we began this journey...so it is only fitting that this question was posed to us tonight. One year ago I had just finished my first ten mile race- a goal I set to shed the baby weight of Little Miss. One year ago I stumbled across Radical at a local bookstore- and I still hold one friend accountable for that purchase =) One year ago, I thought Little Miss would remain the baby of this family (well- I guess I was right about that!) One year ago, I became so discontented with my dead faith that I chose to do something about it...and handed my husband Radical so we could all go down together.

For us, deciding to adopt was a rather quick process...Was adoption on our radar at that time? Not really- well, not at all- but we were willing to leave the door open for whatever God had in store for us. What I know now is that when God calls you to something- and you choose not to answer- He will NOT stop calling. And it will all happen just as quickly as He would like it to...for us that was about a seven day span. Sure, you can disguise it, bury it...try to negotiate with Him...but when He is seeking your obedience- His presence will be undeniable... And you will unknowingly walk into church one day to see James 1:27 and a picture of an adorable little Ethiopian boy plastered across the powerpoint screen and turn to each other, eyes wide, and say "I think He means now."

This entire journey has really been a faith walk. I- in particular- have had my doubts, frustrations, and questions on this faith walk....but one thing has remained consistent...God has been faithful to me, to us, to our boys, to our family. Even when I claimed "How can anything good come out of a five month wait for a court date?"- God was ready and willing to meet me where I was. I have learned during this process- it's okay to be honest with God- He can handle those doubts and frustrations...but what won't change is that He already has it worked out, He already knew our emotions before we felt them- so He isn't likely to be offended. So yes, we started this faith walk with a running start...we staggered in the middle...but we're trusting till the end that our faithful God will reunite our family very soon.

There is no doubt in my mind after meeting our three sons...that the day in which we decided to adopt...the day in which we saw the picture of their beautifully handsome faces waiting for someone to say "Yes"...was the same day God invited us to grow closer to Him. 

The Days In Between.

Oh, how I wish I knew how many days would be in between...and then I think...oh, how I am glad I don't. We get asked very often WHEN we will be going back for our children...I promise you, as SOON as we can we WILL go. This is totally and completely out of our hands- and that's not easy to accept- but the person whose hands it truly lies in knows best- so we will leave it to HIM.

What are we doing while we wait? Oh, you know, everything that one would need to do to prepare for three more people to move in. We were so completely and surprisingly blessed by our neighbors we GAVE us a set of bunk beds their sons have just grown out of- so we will spend this weekend painting and preparing the bedrooms our boys will sleep in. I have been going through clothes this weekend that were passed on to us and purchasing some to fill in the gaps. In my desire to be super organized I am spending time working on a meal binder to HOPEFULLY make meal planning easier for our enlarging crew- we'll see how that goes!!

My husband and I now laugh about the personality quirks of our three new additions...joking about instances that happened in Ethiopia...we laugh about what it will be like when all five personalities are mixed together...and how there will be a slight competition for who the messiest eater will be at family meals....

But, the majority of the time I find myself looking at the date on the car dashboard and thinking- really- only 8 days have passed since we passed court?!?!?!? I try to tell myself to enjoy these moments of what we know as normal before the "new" normal descends....the problem with that- I have MET these three children, they are now MY children...and they are not here...making all that once was normal- no longer normal.


So, that is where we are now...the days in between.

We PASSED!

We are so excited to share that we have officially passed court and are the PROUD parents of three more children =) We are so excited to welcome three new BIG brothers (our boys in Ethiopia are ages 9, 6, and 4) to our family. We have been able to skype with the boys since returning home and it has been an absolute joy to be able to see their adorable faces in this interim period. Speaking of seeing adorable faces, for right now we are opting to share their pictures privately and will soon decide how to proceed with the blog from this point on. We know that older children can be sensitive to having their entire lives shared (rightfully so!)- so we are considering the best option for continuing to share our journey with all of you! But- we did want to share our big news!!

So, what comes next? Well- we wait on several things...a court decree, passports, birth certificates, and medical evaluations...then our case will be submitted to embassy and within about a week or two we will hear how they plan to proceed with our case. Sometimes they require more information and sometimes they clear you to return to pick up your kiddos! We are praying with hopeful hearts that we will clear and be able to bring our children home by late June/early July =) 

First Impressions

How is it possible that when barking dogs kept me up for hours in the middle of the night in ET I could easily think of twenty blog posts and hundreds of stories I wanted to share...and now that we are home- they are stuck in my head and words are scarce?

There was so much we were unsure of heading over there...there were emotions, nerves, excitement, anxiousness, nerves, concern, nerves, happiness, nerves...we were NERVOUS! How does one go about meeting their child(ren) that have already lived nine years of their life...and all you know is a short paragraph of information? What do you say when the language barrier stands between you....how do you keep yourself from reaching out and hugging and kissing a child who DOES NOT know you but that you already love? How do you tell a child who has been waiting two years for a family that the wait is not quite over yet? All of this and so much more had me just a little fidgety on the mere 20 hours we spent traveling.

The actual meeting of our children was not exactly what I had seen in all the sweet videos that I have watched on others' blogs....but my numerous years of education in counseling/psychology reminded me that this was OKAY. In some ways their response was appropriate...and the hugs we earned by the end of the day and throughout the week are what we will remember most. But upon actually meeting them- our three beautifully polite boys shook our hands in the traditional manner. They smiled huge smiles and when other children came running also they stepped in closer...as if to say, "this is my turn." But I had to remind myself that as much as I wanted to take them in my arms...I was still a stranger...and we had to "get to know" each other just like in any other relationship. Now, the fantastic thing about boys...is that sports know no language! Neither do piggy back rides =)

The language barrier is almost impossible to prepare for...let's face it- we were not going to learn Amharic in the last few months...there's no Rosetta stone for that. And, our boys actually speak three different languages...because as my husband has informed me...ET has 75 different languages. But, for all of you who were concerned about the language barrier for us...we did just fine =) Thank you to my beautiful friend and fellow adoptive mommy who reminded me that gestures can go a long way!! I have never pretended to drink from a cup so many times in one week!

Possibly the greatest joy was in learning that we have three lively, FUNNY, entertaining, and silly boys! They kept us laughing. We loved when our driver would translate for us the jokes they were telling about each other...my favorite was our middle commenting on our VERY TALKATIVE oldest, "He talks 100 hours - never stops!" And we thought Little Man was our talker- they are going to be competition for each other...good thing they aren't sharing a bedroom or we'd never get sleep in this house! (I know, I know- we may never anyways!)

As much fun as the week was...there were also moments when you remember you are walking with children who have been hurt and disappointed...moments when you know the journey will be rocky and steep....and require patience and prayer....but the HOPE that abounded in these children assured us that God has called us exactly to this moment...to these three...and we wait anxiously to hear (hopefully this week) that we are their forever family!

                                              Getting ready to meet the boys!