So, as you can imagine, we get asked A LOT "How's it going?" Well, for the first few months- the answer you were likely to get from us was...."Good! But five kids is a lot"....and I'm sure if you asked and received that answer you probably wanted to say..."No duh." And no duh is a perfectly reasonable answer....I mean we KNEW five kids was going to be a lot...it just wasn't ENOUGH of a reason for us to NOT say YES. So, we dove in and figured we'd figure out the whole five kid thing as we went. And really- that is pretty much the only way you can do it because...it's kind of hard to imagine.
So four months or so in...I'm going to give you some things that have worked for us. Who knows- maybe someone out there is looking for a heads up on sibling set adoption. But....really...these are the reasons I'm still smiling. I may have lost my diva status and wear less makeup than ever...but I'm a pretty spoiled momma to some pretty great kids.
1. We have rules...and high expectations of behavior....and don't dare budge a single inch. And by rules I mean...WE tell them when they eat, sleep...breathe play ( and maybe even what they play). Five kids is kind of like a permanent play date...but girlfriend- they will claim all day "I play by myself" and then in the next breath take you down as a troop if you don't stand firm. We are NOT afraid to revoke rights to any enjoyable form of entertainment (Wii, TV, soccer, etc.) and we have done so....and I've literally "turned this car right around".
2. I know what I am cooking tonight as well as every night until the 30th of the month. There is no winging it at 5pm because you don't need SOME ground beef you need THREE POUNDS of it. And no matter what it is...they eat it (and not always because they love it). There are rarely leftovers in this house...but when there are NOTHING goes to waste.
3. Monday is library day, Tuesday co-op and soccer, Wednesdsay preschool and Awanas....for me and my clan it's a schedule...maybe some of you veteran moms are better at mixing it up...I need to know the plan for the day (and approximately what time of day the incessant questions will cease). It really puts the whole infamous "What can we do today?" to rest.
4. I grocery shop as infrequently as possible...and with the least number of children possible. I pull in the driveway and have four strong boys ready to unload it for me. Re-visit #2 for the how. As far as my grocery bill...its a work in progress- that's been a little bit of trial and error so I'll report on that in the near future.
5. I take time to myself...and when that is not possible I visit my stash of adult beverages.
6. I give my kids individual attention once a month. It's not easy....but at one point they were not all siblings...and they still crave that individuality at times.
7. I do NOT allow my children in the pantry...there is no free reign of snacks (they are served twice daily). This is actually a non-issue because my children are not allowed access to my kitchen except when called for meals...I'm not mean, I just need space to cook for my army and heck- the house is plenty big I am certainly not depriving them of valuable square footage.
8. I confess I sometimes ban talking in the car so I can listen to my Jesus music when I'm thisclose to my breaking point.
9. I don't do laundry everyday..."sorry, that Batman shirt you wore YESTERDAY is STILL dirty"...washing machine lessons are by appointment only (as in available 24 hrs a day) if you are volunteering your services. And when I do do laundry....guess who puts it away? Not this mom =) In my opinion, I'm grooming some awesome husbands.
10. I do not pick up toys. IF I am forced to clean up toys...I do so with a white trash bag in hand. We have a clean-up captain who is responsible for ensuring all is in order and then summons me for an inspection...if the playroom and adjacent rooms are in order (no strewn toys) that person is awarded with a starburst and chooses the captain for the next day.
11. I have five extremely capable children who help deep clean the house twice a month...yes, they vacuum, dust, clean base boards etc...and we have fun doing it. In between I clean up between meals and try to run the dishwasher daily. No food leaves the kitchen which means vacuuming can be done weekly.
12. There is no other option but to go to bed....if you make me miserable during the nighttime hours, I reserve the right to make your daytime hours non-enjoyable as well.
13. There is an order to the bedtime routine. Line up for vitamin, brush teeth, report to little boys room for story, use the bathroom in an orderly fashion and I'll meet you in your bed for a good night kiss. Lights out- see you AFTER dawn.
14. I reserve the right to limit you to two questions per car ride...folks- that's ten questions- I deem it more than fair.
15. I am honest about what I will need/expect from them for an outing to be successful. It is a team effort- and unfortunately if one person chooses NOT to be part of that team, the team will pay the consequences. Generally the older two boys are each assigned a younger boy to be responsible for and I am on toddler duty...this works phenomenally...thank you Michelle Duggar for that tip.
16. We have a TON of fun...we are goofy, we laugh, sing, dance...and the reason we do so is because when Mommy is happy....we are ALL happier!!
And that my friends, is why I am still standing...at least until 9pm when I collapse into bed with a huge slice of chocolate cake and deem my workout the four hours I spent chasing children around the soccer field. It may all sound a little Brady-bunch but when you got a bunch you gotta do what works for YOU. If I have learned anything its that my sanity is worth it- and the kids will probably agree. I'm a bit spoiled because I have an extra set of hands a few hours a week to help with homeschooling and doctors/random appointments... Dad works some crazy hours and is not available to assist with daytime kid duty- so we made that choice so as to allow my hair to gray in due time...and not before I turn 30 =) It does not mean I'm sprinting around town kid-free....just occasionally down 1, 2, maybe 3...amazing how that simplifies things when you get used to 5 in tow!
So four months or so in...I'm going to give you some things that have worked for us. Who knows- maybe someone out there is looking for a heads up on sibling set adoption. But....really...these are the reasons I'm still smiling. I may have lost my diva status and wear less makeup than ever...but I'm a pretty spoiled momma to some pretty great kids.
1. We have rules...and high expectations of behavior....and don't dare budge a single inch. And by rules I mean...WE tell them when they eat, sleep...
2. I know what I am cooking tonight as well as every night until the 30th of the month. There is no winging it at 5pm because you don't need SOME ground beef you need THREE POUNDS of it. And no matter what it is...they eat it (and not always because they love it). There are rarely leftovers in this house...but when there are NOTHING goes to waste.
3. Monday is library day, Tuesday co-op and soccer, Wednesdsay preschool and Awanas....for me and my clan it's a schedule...maybe some of you veteran moms are better at mixing it up...I need to know the plan for the day (and approximately what time of day the incessant questions will cease). It really puts the whole infamous "What can we do today?" to rest.
4. I grocery shop as infrequently as possible...and with the least number of children possible. I pull in the driveway and have four strong boys ready to unload it for me. Re-visit #2 for the how. As far as my grocery bill...its a work in progress- that's been a little bit of trial and error so I'll report on that in the near future.
5. I take time to myself...and when that is not possible I visit my stash of adult beverages.
6. I give my kids individual attention once a month. It's not easy....but at one point they were not all siblings...and they still crave that individuality at times.
7. I do NOT allow my children in the pantry...there is no free reign of snacks (they are served twice daily). This is actually a non-issue because my children are not allowed access to my kitchen except when called for meals...I'm not mean, I just need space to cook for my army and heck- the house is plenty big I am certainly not depriving them of valuable square footage.
8. I confess I sometimes ban talking in the car so I can listen to my Jesus music when I'm thisclose to my breaking point.
9. I don't do laundry everyday..."sorry, that Batman shirt you wore YESTERDAY is STILL dirty"...washing machine lessons are by appointment only (as in available 24 hrs a day) if you are volunteering your services. And when I do do laundry....guess who puts it away? Not this mom =) In my opinion, I'm grooming some awesome husbands.
10. I do not pick up toys. IF I am forced to clean up toys...I do so with a white trash bag in hand. We have a clean-up captain who is responsible for ensuring all is in order and then summons me for an inspection...if the playroom and adjacent rooms are in order (no strewn toys) that person is awarded with a starburst and chooses the captain for the next day.
11. I have five extremely capable children who help deep clean the house twice a month...yes, they vacuum, dust, clean base boards etc...and we have fun doing it. In between I clean up between meals and try to run the dishwasher daily. No food leaves the kitchen which means vacuuming can be done weekly.
12. There is no other option but to go to bed....if you make me miserable during the nighttime hours, I reserve the right to make your daytime hours non-enjoyable as well.
13. There is an order to the bedtime routine. Line up for vitamin, brush teeth, report to little boys room for story, use the bathroom in an orderly fashion and I'll meet you in your bed for a good night kiss. Lights out- see you AFTER dawn.
14. I reserve the right to limit you to two questions per car ride...folks- that's ten questions- I deem it more than fair.
15. I am honest about what I will need/expect from them for an outing to be successful. It is a team effort- and unfortunately if one person chooses NOT to be part of that team, the team will pay the consequences. Generally the older two boys are each assigned a younger boy to be responsible for and I am on toddler duty...this works phenomenally...thank you Michelle Duggar for that tip.
16. We have a TON of fun...we are goofy, we laugh, sing, dance...and the reason we do so is because when Mommy is happy....we are ALL happier!!
And that my friends, is why I am still standing...at least until 9pm when I collapse into bed with a huge slice of chocolate cake and deem my workout the four hours I spent chasing children around the soccer field. It may all sound a little Brady-bunch but when you got a bunch you gotta do what works for YOU. If I have learned anything its that my sanity is worth it- and the kids will probably agree. I'm a bit spoiled because I have an extra set of hands a few hours a week to help with homeschooling and doctors/random appointments... Dad works some crazy hours and is not available to assist with daytime kid duty- so we made that choice so as to allow my hair to gray in due time...and not before I turn 30 =) It does not mean I'm sprinting around town kid-free....just occasionally down 1, 2, maybe 3...amazing how that simplifies things when you get used to 5 in tow!
