There are so many unknowns with adoption. Personality, demeanor, behavior, education, emotionally, physically....even if you never thought about it before stepping onto the plane...you have been granted the luxury of 20 hours of traveling to envision the child(ren) that is waiting for you on the other side. In adopting three siblings- we tripled our cluelessness. But four months into our "new" normal...we will never forget where we have been, where we are now....and we continue to dream of where we are going!
Where we have been....
Our three boys were never...not for a moment...shy or quiet. They are full of life...funny...ACTIVE...and ALL boy. Coming home, they knew very little English. I really have to dig back in my memory to recall this...but yes, I do remember the blank stares I got ALL day for the first six weeks. (Nobody is lying to you...I promise...something weird happens around six weeks and you start to forget you are living with people who don't speak your language- no, they may not be speaking English but some weird 24/7 Pictionary game has become the norm.) Our boys had very little, if any, formal schooling before coming home. This meant, we worked everyday (7 days a week at first to help them build a structured and dependable day) in our school room...we started with colors, shapes, letters, and counting. Our children attempted bicycle riding with training wheels for the first time the day after we got home...they were overwhelmed by our play room...did not know what to do at a park...struggled to sit in the car for five minutes without asking "how many red/yellow/green?" (What? You don't have that gps function yet?) They had never step foot in more than a foot of water and clung to us in our backyard pool. They were hesitant meeting new people (outside the family circle) and (2 out of 3) thought this America food was "this is no".
Where we are now...
Our boys are STILL not shy or quiet...in fact, if possible they have come out of their shells even more. They exude an endless joy...which on the flip side is also a very passionate opinion. They consider themselves quite the English speakers- they are not- but it's coming along quite nicely! They have mastered colors, shapes, numbers, some basic addition, and get this- the Pledge of Allegiance! We just finished our first chapter book (I read it to them) and they can tell you the basic plot line (this was an awesome experience!) They participate in devotional time, have started their reading and math curriculum...can now sit for 2+ hours of school time- we are now able to take weekends off because they can handle the schedule disruption. In fact, today being Labor Day, they were shocked but handled the news very well that we would not be going to the library (we go every Monday) because it was closed for the holiday. They can spend an hour at a park in uninterrupted play. THEY ALL RIDE TWO-WHEELERS....we even have one skateboarder...and they can all swim underwater (even Little Man has gotten used to putting his face under!) They all play on soccer teams...they have eaten out, tried many new foods, and after some battles mommy and daddy were sure to win...eat what they are given every night. They sleep about 10 hours a night and go to bed without a single complaint. They have figured out I do NOT know the traffic light layout in our city so they now opt to ask "how many minutes?" Hey- I take all the progress I can get! These last two weeks we have been working through some heart struggles. We have been role playing, reassuring, and offering a script for how to handle some of the emotions they are experiencing. Believe me, I have nothing to complain about...we are dealing with very normal and very expected scenarios...90% of the time I am amazed by how well they are able to handle the situations they encounter...they are children who have undergone a HUGE transition...they still and I imagine for quite some time will need mommy's reassurance.
Where we are going...
Oh I can only dream of where we will be in a year. I honestly can't imagine...I can't even grasp how far we have come in four months. These are truly three different kids than the kids we brought home four months ago. They are amazing...they are SO SO funny...they are healing...and I pray and have faith God will continue to heal them. Our major goal for homeschool is to have two readers by the end of the school year! At that point I have promised myself a cruise (unrealistic?) I imagine they will have come a long way in their school work...their social circles will include non-siblings...and please Lord...they will be able to tell time!
Where we have been....
Our three boys were never...not for a moment...shy or quiet. They are full of life...funny...ACTIVE...and ALL boy. Coming home, they knew very little English. I really have to dig back in my memory to recall this...but yes, I do remember the blank stares I got ALL day for the first six weeks. (Nobody is lying to you...I promise...something weird happens around six weeks and you start to forget you are living with people who don't speak your language- no, they may not be speaking English but some weird 24/7 Pictionary game has become the norm.) Our boys had very little, if any, formal schooling before coming home. This meant, we worked everyday (7 days a week at first to help them build a structured and dependable day) in our school room...we started with colors, shapes, letters, and counting. Our children attempted bicycle riding with training wheels for the first time the day after we got home...they were overwhelmed by our play room...did not know what to do at a park...struggled to sit in the car for five minutes without asking "how many red/yellow/green?" (What? You don't have that gps function yet?) They had never step foot in more than a foot of water and clung to us in our backyard pool. They were hesitant meeting new people (outside the family circle) and (2 out of 3) thought this America food was "this is no".
Where we are now...
Our boys are STILL not shy or quiet...in fact, if possible they have come out of their shells even more. They exude an endless joy...which on the flip side is also a very passionate opinion. They consider themselves quite the English speakers- they are not- but it's coming along quite nicely! They have mastered colors, shapes, numbers, some basic addition, and get this- the Pledge of Allegiance! We just finished our first chapter book (I read it to them) and they can tell you the basic plot line (this was an awesome experience!) They participate in devotional time, have started their reading and math curriculum...can now sit for 2+ hours of school time- we are now able to take weekends off because they can handle the schedule disruption. In fact, today being Labor Day, they were shocked but handled the news very well that we would not be going to the library (we go every Monday) because it was closed for the holiday. They can spend an hour at a park in uninterrupted play. THEY ALL RIDE TWO-WHEELERS....we even have one skateboarder...and they can all swim underwater (even Little Man has gotten used to putting his face under!) They all play on soccer teams...they have eaten out, tried many new foods, and after some battles mommy and daddy were sure to win...eat what they are given every night. They sleep about 10 hours a night and go to bed without a single complaint. They have figured out I do NOT know the traffic light layout in our city so they now opt to ask "how many minutes?" Hey- I take all the progress I can get! These last two weeks we have been working through some heart struggles. We have been role playing, reassuring, and offering a script for how to handle some of the emotions they are experiencing. Believe me, I have nothing to complain about...we are dealing with very normal and very expected scenarios...90% of the time I am amazed by how well they are able to handle the situations they encounter...they are children who have undergone a HUGE transition...they still and I imagine for quite some time will need mommy's reassurance.
Where we are going...
Oh I can only dream of where we will be in a year. I honestly can't imagine...I can't even grasp how far we have come in four months. These are truly three different kids than the kids we brought home four months ago. They are amazing...they are SO SO funny...they are healing...and I pray and have faith God will continue to heal them. Our major goal for homeschool is to have two readers by the end of the school year! At that point I have promised myself a cruise (unrealistic?) I imagine they will have come a long way in their school work...their social circles will include non-siblings...and please Lord...they will be able to tell time!
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