I have struggled with how to put into words what I want to share. How do I begin to tell you about the three children I have watched transform before my eyes? How do I explain that when we met our children during our court trip our oldest was experiencing 6-7 brief seizures a day (the type where his eyes fluttered, rolled back and then 15-20 seconds later ended) and since coming home he has had ONE. ONE in 9 weeks...his EEG came back perfectly normal and the neurosurgeon told me I had to leave the office because our son has shown way TOO MUCH improvement for him to be concerned at all. He said- send him a message in six months because he can't wait to hear how great he is doing. How do I begin to tell you the amount of English learned in 9 weeks...the learning letters, shapes, colors? How do I begin to describe the places we have gone...the excitement, the fun, the laughs, the memories?
I have no earthly explanations...I know only one person who knew this situation LONG before we began to have the desire in our hearts...God assured us long before we made any decisions that these were our children...and He is sticking to that story.
Older adopted children carry more trauma, more history, more memories. Older children have likely waited longer....older children have more obstacles to overcome...maybe more questions that need to be answered. But older children also carry a huge amount of HOPE....hope that this is what they have been waiting, dreaming, imagining...that this whole adoption thing really is something better than the walls of the orphanage they have become accustomed to. Older children bring culture to the home...songs, stories, dances...they bring a light in their eye as they discover this new world you are laying out before them. They bring vulnerability....trying to trust that you will not hurt them or leave them and the underlying fear that you might. The hope they have is contagious...
Our three new children have renewed my faith in a God I THOUGHT I knew. They have bonded with our biological children in a way that only God could have known they would...because I was sure wondering on the trip home from the airport! Each day I wonder...WHY did they have to wait two years...and I'm guessing because two years ago- I'm not sure I could have told you where Ethiopia was. I have to believe there was a purpose to their wait. But I'm also not going to sit here and write you horror stories...there are none. The struggles in my day are no different than any other mother to five kids. I like to say they are my personalized workout. Unfortunately I'm also eating hot dogs and pizza along with them! They fight over who the "prayer person" of the day is...who is going to take out the trash...whose turn it is to pick the movie at rest time..who REALLY left the back door open....and who is going to be Batman today. We artificially twinned...adopted out of birth order...and brought home three older boys....and we are going to survive to our first post-placement visit to tell about it.
I have no earthly explanations...I know only one person who knew this situation LONG before we began to have the desire in our hearts...God assured us long before we made any decisions that these were our children...and He is sticking to that story.
Older adopted children carry more trauma, more history, more memories. Older children have likely waited longer....older children have more obstacles to overcome...maybe more questions that need to be answered. But older children also carry a huge amount of HOPE....hope that this is what they have been waiting, dreaming, imagining...that this whole adoption thing really is something better than the walls of the orphanage they have become accustomed to. Older children bring culture to the home...songs, stories, dances...they bring a light in their eye as they discover this new world you are laying out before them. They bring vulnerability....trying to trust that you will not hurt them or leave them and the underlying fear that you might. The hope they have is contagious...
Our three new children have renewed my faith in a God I THOUGHT I knew. They have bonded with our biological children in a way that only God could have known they would...because I was sure wondering on the trip home from the airport! Each day I wonder...WHY did they have to wait two years...and I'm guessing because two years ago- I'm not sure I could have told you where Ethiopia was. I have to believe there was a purpose to their wait. But I'm also not going to sit here and write you horror stories...there are none. The struggles in my day are no different than any other mother to five kids. I like to say they are my personalized workout. Unfortunately I'm also eating hot dogs and pizza along with them! They fight over who the "prayer person" of the day is...who is going to take out the trash...whose turn it is to pick the movie at rest time..who REALLY left the back door open....and who is going to be Batman today. We artificially twinned...adopted out of birth order...and brought home three older boys....and we are going to survive to our first post-placement visit to tell about it.
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