How do you go from "We're thinking of..." to "We're adopting!"

Tonight, while at a friend's for dinner we were asked a question- one we haven't been asked before! The question was...

How do you go from, "we're thinking of adopting"....to...."we're adopting!"

Exactly one year ago is when we began this journey...so it is only fitting that this question was posed to us tonight. One year ago I had just finished my first ten mile race- a goal I set to shed the baby weight of Little Miss. One year ago I stumbled across Radical at a local bookstore- and I still hold one friend accountable for that purchase =) One year ago, I thought Little Miss would remain the baby of this family (well- I guess I was right about that!) One year ago, I became so discontented with my dead faith that I chose to do something about it...and handed my husband Radical so we could all go down together.

For us, deciding to adopt was a rather quick process...Was adoption on our radar at that time? Not really- well, not at all- but we were willing to leave the door open for whatever God had in store for us. What I know now is that when God calls you to something- and you choose not to answer- He will NOT stop calling. And it will all happen just as quickly as He would like it to...for us that was about a seven day span. Sure, you can disguise it, bury it...try to negotiate with Him...but when He is seeking your obedience- His presence will be undeniable... And you will unknowingly walk into church one day to see James 1:27 and a picture of an adorable little Ethiopian boy plastered across the powerpoint screen and turn to each other, eyes wide, and say "I think He means now."

This entire journey has really been a faith walk. I- in particular- have had my doubts, frustrations, and questions on this faith walk....but one thing has remained consistent...God has been faithful to me, to us, to our boys, to our family. Even when I claimed "How can anything good come out of a five month wait for a court date?"- God was ready and willing to meet me where I was. I have learned during this process- it's okay to be honest with God- He can handle those doubts and frustrations...but what won't change is that He already has it worked out, He already knew our emotions before we felt them- so He isn't likely to be offended. So yes, we started this faith walk with a running start...we staggered in the middle...but we're trusting till the end that our faithful God will reunite our family very soon.

There is no doubt in my mind after meeting our three sons...that the day in which we decided to adopt...the day in which we saw the picture of their beautifully handsome faces waiting for someone to say "Yes"...was the same day God invited us to grow closer to Him. 

The Days In Between.

Oh, how I wish I knew how many days would be in between...and then I think...oh, how I am glad I don't. We get asked very often WHEN we will be going back for our children...I promise you, as SOON as we can we WILL go. This is totally and completely out of our hands- and that's not easy to accept- but the person whose hands it truly lies in knows best- so we will leave it to HIM.

What are we doing while we wait? Oh, you know, everything that one would need to do to prepare for three more people to move in. We were so completely and surprisingly blessed by our neighbors we GAVE us a set of bunk beds their sons have just grown out of- so we will spend this weekend painting and preparing the bedrooms our boys will sleep in. I have been going through clothes this weekend that were passed on to us and purchasing some to fill in the gaps. In my desire to be super organized I am spending time working on a meal binder to HOPEFULLY make meal planning easier for our enlarging crew- we'll see how that goes!!

My husband and I now laugh about the personality quirks of our three new additions...joking about instances that happened in Ethiopia...we laugh about what it will be like when all five personalities are mixed together...and how there will be a slight competition for who the messiest eater will be at family meals....

But, the majority of the time I find myself looking at the date on the car dashboard and thinking- really- only 8 days have passed since we passed court?!?!?!? I try to tell myself to enjoy these moments of what we know as normal before the "new" normal descends....the problem with that- I have MET these three children, they are now MY children...and they are not here...making all that once was normal- no longer normal.


So, that is where we are now...the days in between.

We PASSED!

We are so excited to share that we have officially passed court and are the PROUD parents of three more children =) We are so excited to welcome three new BIG brothers (our boys in Ethiopia are ages 9, 6, and 4) to our family. We have been able to skype with the boys since returning home and it has been an absolute joy to be able to see their adorable faces in this interim period. Speaking of seeing adorable faces, for right now we are opting to share their pictures privately and will soon decide how to proceed with the blog from this point on. We know that older children can be sensitive to having their entire lives shared (rightfully so!)- so we are considering the best option for continuing to share our journey with all of you! But- we did want to share our big news!!

So, what comes next? Well- we wait on several things...a court decree, passports, birth certificates, and medical evaluations...then our case will be submitted to embassy and within about a week or two we will hear how they plan to proceed with our case. Sometimes they require more information and sometimes they clear you to return to pick up your kiddos! We are praying with hopeful hearts that we will clear and be able to bring our children home by late June/early July =) 

First Impressions

How is it possible that when barking dogs kept me up for hours in the middle of the night in ET I could easily think of twenty blog posts and hundreds of stories I wanted to share...and now that we are home- they are stuck in my head and words are scarce?

There was so much we were unsure of heading over there...there were emotions, nerves, excitement, anxiousness, nerves, concern, nerves, happiness, nerves...we were NERVOUS! How does one go about meeting their child(ren) that have already lived nine years of their life...and all you know is a short paragraph of information? What do you say when the language barrier stands between you....how do you keep yourself from reaching out and hugging and kissing a child who DOES NOT know you but that you already love? How do you tell a child who has been waiting two years for a family that the wait is not quite over yet? All of this and so much more had me just a little fidgety on the mere 20 hours we spent traveling.

The actual meeting of our children was not exactly what I had seen in all the sweet videos that I have watched on others' blogs....but my numerous years of education in counseling/psychology reminded me that this was OKAY. In some ways their response was appropriate...and the hugs we earned by the end of the day and throughout the week are what we will remember most. But upon actually meeting them- our three beautifully polite boys shook our hands in the traditional manner. They smiled huge smiles and when other children came running also they stepped in closer...as if to say, "this is my turn." But I had to remind myself that as much as I wanted to take them in my arms...I was still a stranger...and we had to "get to know" each other just like in any other relationship. Now, the fantastic thing about boys...is that sports know no language! Neither do piggy back rides =)

The language barrier is almost impossible to prepare for...let's face it- we were not going to learn Amharic in the last few months...there's no Rosetta stone for that. And, our boys actually speak three different languages...because as my husband has informed me...ET has 75 different languages. But, for all of you who were concerned about the language barrier for us...we did just fine =) Thank you to my beautiful friend and fellow adoptive mommy who reminded me that gestures can go a long way!! I have never pretended to drink from a cup so many times in one week!

Possibly the greatest joy was in learning that we have three lively, FUNNY, entertaining, and silly boys! They kept us laughing. We loved when our driver would translate for us the jokes they were telling about each other...my favorite was our middle commenting on our VERY TALKATIVE oldest, "He talks 100 hours - never stops!" And we thought Little Man was our talker- they are going to be competition for each other...good thing they aren't sharing a bedroom or we'd never get sleep in this house! (I know, I know- we may never anyways!)

As much fun as the week was...there were also moments when you remember you are walking with children who have been hurt and disappointed...moments when you know the journey will be rocky and steep....and require patience and prayer....but the HOPE that abounded in these children assured us that God has called us exactly to this moment...to these three...and we wait anxiously to hear (hopefully this week) that we are their forever family!

                                              Getting ready to meet the boys! 

A picture's worth...

I guess normally that would end with "a thousand words" but really in this case it was worth thousands of miles...flying to Ethiopia and back....to meet the three boys whose faces made me wonder, "God, what are you asking us to do?" Last July I saw the picture that stuck with me and on October 11th we officially accepted their referral, submitted our dossier, and just today we returned from Ethiopia having met their sweet personalites, hugged their adorable selves, and played countless hours of soccer. We laughed together- they laughed at our attempts at Amharic- and we laughed as they tried ketchup, ice cream, and cake for the first time.

Court was not an easy process... In the end, we left with still one more piece of paper to be acquired before they will be "ours"- but we did stand before the judge and give our consent and receive her approval- and our MOWA letter was present and favorable. So, I guess we did what we needed to do- and will wait for more information expected to come the first week in April.

Right now- I am still reflecting on our week. It was a lot to take in...a lot to think about...a lot to learn from...and it opened our eyes even more to the need that exists. There is a big difference between TALKING about the orphan crisis and seeing it...between watching your children step out of too-short pants and into new clothes...and trading crocs for sneakers, hearing your children ask for meat with such excitement and realizing it is because they don't normally eat it. There were so many times I had to stop and remind myself that their amazement over something was because...they had never seen it, held it, experienced it. Tears escaped when I realized why it was so important to them to zip the suitcase we brought for them everytime they left the room...it was THEIRS. I had to catch my breath everytime I caught our 6 year old washing his soccer ball in the bathroom sink.

More than anything....I had to control my tears when I saw them with their "Dad". Taking turns getting piggy backs, wrestling, hugging, sitting on his lap...you name it- they craved it. It was a struggle at times to realize that HE was what they so desperately needed...the female caretaker is what they are used to...the Dad figure is what has truly been missing. I have never loved my husband more than I did watching him in that courtyard.

I have to stop and marvel at how God can possibly use a picture to nudge a family- we left for ET believing that the three boys in the picture we saw last July were worth fighting/working for...and so we went... and now we will wait some more- but having met them- we wait with faith that God has the ending of this story just as beautifully authored as He did the beginning.

We have a COURT DATE!!!

After 5 months of waiting on a court date and many paperwork glitches and unknowns...it is true- we are FINALLY headed to Ethiopia for our COURT DATE!!! It is quite unusual but we were notified and told the judge would see us on short notice due to some other personal circumstances. SO...we leave in FOUR days!

Last week at this time- there were so many unknowns I just didn't know what to expect. Even though I have been CLAIMING to have given this all to God way back in November...the truth was...I don't believe I really released it to Him until last Wednesday....the same day I laid a chik-fil-a sack filled with strawberry cheesecake and a glass of water (his request) in front of a homeless man that I have seen around the area for the last 6 years. Is it possible that only last Wednesday- I finally understood what it means when Jesus says....what you have done for the least of these you have done for me? I walked away from that moment with peace in this whole situation....almost as if I had a moment with HIM that allowed me to understand what He has been trying to say for five months.

So instead of praying our boys would come home...I began to pray that God would have the victory. After a very real phone call with a woman God connected me with through Bible study this past September...I felt a huge burden released. We talked REAL...not "oh it will happen"....because, you know, sometimes things DON'T happen the way we want them to. But, we may never know what role those things play in the eternal...we never know when what does or doesn't happen has a larger impact that we may never know in our time here. I also heard this last week and it spoke so clearly to me..."The more we REST in HIS presence...the more we REST in His presence." Say it 10 times fast and maybe it will sink in. I know I had to. I began to do just that...Rest in the idea that He sent us on this journey for a reason....and I actually got EXCITED to see what the conclusion would be....even if it was totally not what I THOUGHT. And then yesterday....we got the news and our feet hit the ground running to leave for ET in 4 days!

The actual phone call was so unexpected....I had to go outside our front door because my littles were inside screaming about who knows what...when I came inside I was yelling and jumping around...Little Man asked "Mommy, why are you going WOO WOO WOO?" So I explained what had happened and he said, "But mommy, if you are so happy why is water coming out of your eyes?" So sweet. And would you believe that we were actually waiting on some friends who were coming over for a play date...so I was immediately greeted by three wonderful and close friends who have been praying with us for the last 5 months...my head spun most of the time they were here and I was probably very poor company- but they were so sweet and excited for us!

I know, I'm rambling...quite frankly...I'm overwhelmed and scrambling...because you know- we want our first meeting with our new children to be PERFECT....but I know in my heart- it will be- no matter what I forget or don't have a chance to do before we leave.

So....right now we are praying that the judge shows favor on our case and that our first meeting with our sweet children will go smoothly and God's presence will be felt through it all!

Not an Update.

Well...it isn't much of an update if I have nothing new to share is it? I apologize. I'm sure you can all imagine how much I WISH we knew more than we do. Word is- there is still more paperwork to be obtained...I know very little specifics so I promise I am not being vague on purpose. We are praying...ok...it is more like begging...ummm...maybe some crying and screaming out to God that we will see BIG movement this week. I simply can't afford to continue eating chocolate the way I am so I would appreciate some good news =) 

In other news...my local adoptive mommy friend (I promise the whole city isn't crazy)  is now expecting FOUR Ethiopian cuties! You can go read more about her story here... and if you ever want to meet an abundance of beautiful Ethiopian children just come to our future playdates!

She is fundraising and selling these ADORABLE t-shirts modeled below by Little Miss! 

Here's to a week of BIG prayers!