Please don't take offense.

So, I believe it's time to stir things up a bit. I always encourage people to ask whatever it is they really want to know about adoption. I actually really appreciate when people do- because honestly, it gives me something to write about. Let's face it, you don't want the gory details of every emotional breakdown I have in regards to this adoption- or just because I am female. So, might as well have some material.

So here goes, some answers to popular questions in no particular order.

The first thing I DO know:

My biological kids are going to be fine. It's true. I even asked the pediatrician. Yes, I was curious about his medical opinion and he said it himself- he's not concerned, he sees no reason for a problem. Phew. Good- I was worried I was the only one that WASN'T worried.

Let's face it. My kids are going to learn about 24 years earlier than I did about a place called Ethiopia and a world that can be pretty unfair. Oh, and they will have to share the zillions of toys they really don't need.

Will they show some disgruntledness.....probably...okay, I'm SURE they will. There A LOT of times during they day that they would have it out with each other if I wasn't supervising them. All siblings do, don't they? You let me know if you have siblings that don't fight....I'll contribute to your adoption fund as you are obviously a good candidate for more children.

I want my kids to know about the world outside "their own little world". I really think it would be an injustice to allow them to continue to think that because they own 42 monster trucks every other little boy does too. Believe me, it fascinated him to find out that was untrue.

The second thing I DO know is....

All of these children will be my own. The two I birthed and the however many I choose to adopt. I find it hard to believe that after all of the paperwork, trips to the notary, finances tweaked, and tears shed that I will feel I worked any less or any harder for my adopted children. At the rate I am eating through my anticipation it is quite possible I may gain my standard forty pounds as well. While I encourage all questions- I will also do the general public the favor of helping to word this question differently- instead of asking "Why aren't you going to have more of your own?" or "Will you have more of your own after you adopt?" you might try, "Do you think/ plan to give birth to more children?" Really, you might just not ask this question- but if you feel you have a close enough relationship to ask, you might avoid the words "your own". I guarantee that the only people I will wake up for and climb out of my warm bed multiple times a night for are my own children.

The third thing I DO know is...

Adoption is expensive for a good reason. I promise, all of that money is going to people who are doing a heck of a job. Personally, you could not pay me enough to be a social worker conducting home studies. I would NOT want the responsibility of approving families for bringing home adopted children- specifically families asking for special needs, multiple children, and adopting out of birth order. No, I would NOT want to go to bed wondering "I wonder how that family is going to pull that off!" And knowing I just signed my name giving the seal of approval might just make my eye permanently twitch. Additionally, the fees involved are going to MULTIPLE people. LOTS of people. Being fingerprinted costs money- and, unfortunately, just because it is for an adoption does not mean they can waive the fee. People are fingerprinted everyday for noble causes, if every fee was waived, a lot of people would go without a paycheck. Additionally, most adoption totals include the cost of travel. I don't know about you- but by the time I am buying that airline ticket- I am guessing I will be willing to fork that money over if it means getting to the same soil as my babies. Did you know that the average cost for an epidural is $1200. That is one needle, for one woman, most likely for one baby. Pregnancy is expensive too. Think about how many trips to the doctor you make during that nine months- and then delivering in a hospital with approximately a two day stay. That is, if you didn't have a C-section and your baby was healthy and free to leave. Of course, there is insurance for that- and adoption is essentially an out-of-pocket expense. However, there are grants and the option of fundraising. I am a true believer that God wants these children to have homes and he will NOT let a lack of finances stand in the way.

So, there you have it- answers to a few questions I have received lately. The things I might have said if I wasn't worried about offending anyone =)